G and Vincent Show Episode 1!!!

[ Imagine a tacky, Japanese, or really, any type of talkshow stage. You have the main stage, where the hosts and guests sit, and you have rows upon rows of chairs allowing guests to sit. The stage is sparkly with lots of tacky colors - lots of reds and pinks (Genesis wouldn't have it any other way, and since he likes red, Vincent didn't complain). ]

3

2

1!!!

[The Camera pans out]

Announcer?: It's time for the.... GENESIS AND VINCENT SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one Starring....

[The Camera zooms into Genesis' face]

Announcer?: GENESIS..... AND!

[The Camera badly zooms over to Vincent, who is looking rather "emo"]

Announcer?: VINCENT VALENTINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[The lights brighten and the camera pans out, showing Genesis, sitting with his legs crossed, a smirk upon his face, and Vincent sitting beside him, in a Regis and Kelly style stage.]

Genesis: Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen...

Vincent:.... ko....ban.....wa....

Gensis: It is I, your host, Gackt....

Vincent:... Didn't you change your name... to Genesis?

Gensis: ... *coff coff* Oh, that's right. GENESIS! [G Stands up and places hands on hips]

Vincent: ...There's a show tonight.

Genesis: Tonight Cid Highwind will be our guest.

Vincent: Shit. I owe him...

Genesis: Owe him?

Vincent: I borrwed 1,500,000 Gil off of him. It was to buy a replacement leg.

Genesis: .... Alright.

Announcer: QUICK WORD FROM OUR SPONSERS.

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Vincent: We're...back.
Genesis: Time for the guest. Everyone, welcome Cid Highwind.

[ G and Vincent stand up and start to clap... well, Genesis claps but vincent sorta just does some lazy little clap motion thing. Smacking his hands together every few seconds.]

[Cid highwind walks onto the stage, nods and takes a seat. Everyone else sits and Cid stretches his legs, placing them on Genesis' lap, since G is the one sitting closest to him. \

Genesis: *coff coff* ... You're getting mud on my red leather pants.

[The females in the audience scream. One even screams 'HOW DARE YOU!!!!11111']

Cid: Aw, shut it ya pansty. I dun wanna hear any of that shit from you. Prolly need to get a little dirty, might make you look like more of a man.

Genesis: ......

Vincent: so... cid....

Cid: You owe me, pretty boy.

Vincent: .....

Genesis: .....

Cid: ..... whut?

Genesis: Cid, I don't believe we've met. I am Gack-- Genesis.

Cid: Gackgensis? The hell?

Vincent: It's Genesis.

Genesis: Now, what have you been up to, Mr. Highwind?

Cid: Aw, f***, wry you askin' me this? Well. Lesses. I've been doin' the same, ya know, recently, though, Shera been tryin' to make me kick the habit.

Vincent: Ciggerettes?

Cid: What the F*** else?! Jeeez. Anyway, Shera told me I had to kick the habit, and of course, I wouldn't listen to what the hell that woman has to say, I mean, she saved me once, but dammit, that doesn't mean she can order me the hell around, tellin' me every little thing I can do.

Genesis: Uh-huh...

Vincent: And so?

Cid: She stole my cigs and tried to hide them.

Genesis: Where did she hide them?

Cid: #@#$%$&@!@!!!! OH GOD DAMN. YOU WON't BELIEVE THIS SHIT. SHE HAD THAT GODDAMN BLACK MAN BARRET WALLACE COME OVER. AND YOU KNOW WHUT SHE DID?

Vincent: You sound angry.

Cid: God damn right I'm angry. [Takes a cig out and lights it]

Vincent: ....

Cid: Anyway, Shera had Barret stuff the god damn things in his underwear. #$$%!$@$ and dammnit, I was cravin' the damn things so bad... an' there was only one way to get to them babies.

Genesis: I like the sound of this...

CID: F@#%$351075078907097qWRTGZAPJ VFGNP;PZSKL;?J P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! queer.

Genesis: Does it matter?

Cid: I KNEW YOU WEREN'T A MAN.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Genesis: My sexuality has nothing to do with me being a MAN.

[The female members of the audience swoon, and starting chattering to one another at the announcemnt of Genesis' sexuality...]

Vincent: .... This is... getting weird. Maybe uncomfortable.

Cid: HELL RIGHT THIS IS. WHY THE F@%@$@$ DID I AGREE TO COME ON SOME HOMOSEXUAL PARADE SHOW!?

Vincent: I hope this isn't a parade...

Genesis: IF you don't like it, leave.

Cid: Not without my goddamn money.

[Cid gets up and approaches Vincent]

Vincent: I'm broke.

Cid: Then I'll take yer leg.

Vincent: No.

Cid: ARGH. I GAVE YEW THAT MONNEY SO IT'S MY LEG.

[Cid, in a fit of rage, lunges towards Vicent's Leg. Vincent's eyes widen, probably for the first time in his life, in utter shock. Cid, bearing his teeth, motions to chomp down on Vincent's leg...]

Cid: *RARARARARARARAR* ....

Vincent: !!!!

[ Genesis, having enough, pulls his phone out, and within seconds, security comes onto the stage and grabs Cid by the arms ]

Cid: God dammit!!! I'll get yew next time, pretty boys. @#%#$%@#$

[ Genesis wipes his brow with his arm, then stares blankly at the audience]

Genesis: Excuse me, Ladies, Gentlemen.

[Genesis walks off stage]

Vincent: The first episode didn't go so well.

.....

.....

Uh. Sorry.

[ Vincent stands up and bows]

Vincent: On our next show...

QUINA

.... Goodnight.

[the curtain falls....]